


All will be well.

by SerenVic



Series: Wood for the Trees. [5]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-17
Updated: 2016-07-17
Packaged: 2018-07-24 15:23:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7513343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SerenVic/pseuds/SerenVic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Its time for Danny and Steve to talk and for the future of the team to be decided.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All will be well.

**Author's Note:**

> General Disclaimer

Steve was busy in the house getting things ready for the meeting at 2 o’clock with Danny. He was determined to be there and waiting. He didn’t want Danny to think in any way that he was taking this casually, he was putting bottles of water in a backpack, he made sure he had his medication just in case, because let’s be honest as Danny had said in the past he was a trouble magnet and he couldn’t risk not taking it. He had some fruit, not pineapple obviously and a heart that was beating out of his chest. He put the bag by the door to go, he looked at his watch 9.07 just 4 hours 53 minutes then to go. He paced around the house some more, walked up and down the beach, put a load of washing in, took in out and eventually gave up jumped in the truck and arrived at the spot at 12.54. He got comfortable on the wall and waited.

***

Danny woke up, had a shower. He wandered round the house eating a sandwich. He phoned Grace and Charlie. He felt sick. He picked up the phone a bunch of times to cancel. Eventually he grabbed his keys and muttering all the way drove up to the spot. As he got there he saw Steve was already there. It was 1.08.

***

As Danny approached Steve he could feel his stomach tying itself up in knots. He wasn’t sure he would be able to speak without sounding weak. He worried if they talked he would break down and look pathetic, he worried he would lose his temper and destroy Steve with cruel words, he worried he would admit how broken he was. He just worried. As he got closer Steve stood up and moved as if he was going to throw his arms out for a hug, the move was aborted and became an odd move as if to shake hands. Steve laughed self consciously;

‘I have no idea what to do.’ He motioned as if to guide Danny to a seat. 

Danny was still silent caught up in internal debate and part of him wanted to run, run far away and another wanted to punch Steve and then a tiny part wanted to lay his head on Steve’s shoulder and just turn slightly into his neck and curl into him and let him wrap his arms around him and make him feel whole again. It was because of all this internal war going on he missed what Steve said, and realizing that the man was staring at him intently he dipped his head and said quietly

‘Sorry I missed that.’

‘I’m glad you wanted to meet, I really want to clear the air and I need to tell you so much and, Oh God Danny I have all this stuff going round my head I need to get out but I’m not good with words and I need to make things right.’

There was silence as Danny thought for a moment. He still was rigid with fear and hoped Steve hadn’t noticed. If Steve talked first he could listen and calm down a bit and maybe then he could sound less like a whining idiot than he would if he opened his mouth right now. He had so much to say but all that was screaming around his head was ‘why? Why weren’t we friends anymore? Why did you say Charlie would hate me? Am I so awful no one wants to be around me? Why didn’t you notice I was gone? Why, why, why’

Steve realized that Danny was stuck in his own head and waited and looked at the view. Danny looked dreadful, strung out as if he hadn’t slept last night, he’d lost weight and somehow the light was dim around him. Danny straightened up a little, looked at Steve and said ‘Go on.’

Steve took a deep breath and started ‘Danny, I’m sorry. When you first left I didn’t notice, I was so determined I would be healthy and fixed and back at work I became fixated on that. When Chin asked how you were I had no idea how long it had been since we had been in contact. I just brushed Chin off, Kono and Lou weren’t concerned and it was all about getting better. When Chin came and said you’d left the island and gone off the grid I was still thinking what’s the fuss? Then Chin shouted and then when I saw Grace she called me a bully but I justified what she had said, thinking she was missing you and when she phoned to see me saying you had told her to make it right I was still so sure everything would be ok, you were just licking your wounds somewhere. Then when we went for shave ice she made me realize things were not how I saw them.’

He stopped and drew breath and looked at Danny. He was expecting anger and a tirade of words. What he saw instead was Danny looking even more broken. He wanted to wrap his body around him and shelter him from the world. There was nothing forthcoming from Danny and he wouldn’t even look at Steve so he decided to continue. It was hard because he knew he now had to jump off a cliff and admit to the fact he had failed Danny and the team.

‘I was talking to Kono and it hit me. Grace was right I had been a bully.’ At this admission Danny looked up at Steve briefly his eyes wide and then as if holding Steve’s gaze hurt him his head ducked back down.

‘I couldn’t believe everything I stood for, everything I believed in I had let go. It felt like I was falling down a hole in the dark and no knowing if I would land. I asked if I needed to get help and they said yes.’ Steve halted for a moment like he still couldn’t believe he was telling Danny all this.

‘Chin recommended someone, I only found out in the week it was the person you found for him. The first time I met them it was a disaster, I shouted, I ranted and I think I scared her then she told me to go home and come back in 2 days with a list of 5 things I liked about myself and 1 thing I wanted to change. I sat there all night Danny, and I couldn’t do the first list, I’d write things down then scribble them out but the one thing I wanted to change that was easy I wanted my best friend back. When I went back to see her my list of 5 things was the scrappiest piece of paper. So over the last few weeks I’ve seen her 4 times a week. We’ve talked about you, me, the liver thing, the SEAL thing and I’ve started to rethink things.’

Danny suddenly jumped up and he could feel his rage bubbling up

‘I’m so glad Commander’ he shouted ‘you are feeling so much better and therapy is helping. You know what that’s great. You’re facing up to the fact maybe you’re not perfect, and of course you want me back I’m your fucking spare parts guy, so when you need more blood phone Danny, need a heart oh yeah there Danny of course he’ll die but no one will really miss him because he’s got a shocking attitude and he’s got kids that hate him now so that’s fine new heart for the SEAL...’ 

Steve looked at him horrified, Danny was red faced, finding it hard to breathe and his eyes were suspiciously wet, as the tirade came to end he dropped down on the wall bent over and all Steve could see was Danny fighting what looked like an enormous panic attack. He looked and as he tried to decide what to do, the smaller man’s body started shuddering as he gave into the tears that had been threatening and Steve immediately moved closer put his hand on his back and slowly rubbed circles.

It was silent, apart from great gasping breaths from Danny, Steve kept rubbing his back gently he moved closer and closer until their bodies were flush against each other. Danny’s breaths grew easier and quieter, then almost too quiet for Steve to hear he said;

‘What did I do wrong?’

Steve leaned forward and continued the gentle movements, ‘It’s not that it’s your fault D, I wasn’t coping with things and you weren’t coping with things. My way of coping was to become more like the SEAL I was before, all directives and orders and no insubordination, yours was to just keep looking after everyone and withdraw and hide how much I was hurting you. The team are used to following my lead with you guiding me away from too much trouble, and you hid things so they assumed everything was alright and didn’t recognize I was actually hurting you.’

He kept rubbing Danny’s back, he liked feeling connected to him and as Danny eased up he stopped rubbing the circles and just kept his hand there. 

‘Danny, there’s a lot more to say, the whole Cath thing was a mess, she lied again and I know I said it was ok I knew she was doing something worthy but it hurt. Fuck, was she ever truthful? You were away a lot helping Charlie and I couldn’t do anything to help that problem and I hated Rachel for hurting you and then I resented you for being the good guy and not being around so much. I was having nightmares about missions and not sleeping and we weren’t talking much and I...’

His voice tailed off and he could feel his emotions get the better of him. Danny stood up and paced around. He went to speak a couple of times and then stopped himself. Finally he came to a stop in front of Steve.

‘So, you were having nightmares and didn’t tell anyone.’ Steve nodded 

‘How did I miss you weren’t sleeping’ Danny pondered, Steve went to speak ‘No, my turn. You were missing me being around because I was helping my sick child so you slid into being an asshole, no sorry a SEAL. Sorry Steve that’s not good enough, I’m sorry I didn’t realize you were struggling but friendship is a two way thing and you just told me you resented me helping my son who I had just found out about so instead of like normal people asking how I was, or did I fancy a drink you froze me out. Treated my ideas with disdain and generally made me feel even more alone. Is this the way of a sane person Steven is it?’ 

Danny was in full rant mode, arms waving and many gestures being made at Steve. It was the most alive and animated he had been since returning and Steve was trying hard not to smile at the difference in him especially when he called him Steven. Danny stopped and glared at him

‘I gave you half my liver. Half my fucking liver and you tell me you’ll dig it out if it affects your attitude and oh on top of that we have the little matter of my son growing to hate me. Then, after not noticing I was gone when I finally return you stalk me through the cameras at the airport. Does that sound like a sane person Steve, tell me does it? No Steven it doesn’t , it makes me feel like you don’t want to share your toys even when you don’t want to play with them yourself.’

Steve stared at Danny and realized finally Danny was letting things out and off his chest. He still wanted to hold him close and make him safe but he knew all of this had to come out. Danny continued ranting in much the same vein for over 10 minutes and Steve sat and listened, he didn’t tune out and think of other things he knew that he had to hear and recognize Danny’s pain, and Danny didn’t seem to realize all his ranting and raging was all quietly screaming ‘why does no one see me?’.

Danny finally sat back down. ‘So Steve, what do we do now? We are not a partnership anymore maybe I should transfer out.’ He crumpled a little as he said that as if it physically hurt him to suggest it.

‘No!’ Steve shouted, he could start to feel the panic rising, ‘No you’re not leaving me, I mean the team we need to work on things but you’re my partner and I’m yours and we’re going to fix this. I miss my best friend D, I know I screwed up but let’s try to sort it.’

Danny looked at him closely, Steve wondered if he had picked up the slip about Danny leaving him, he could feel the fear creeping through him as Danny was silent. 

Danny was thinking hard, could he do this work with the madman he did seem keen and what did he mean about Danny leaving him? He really didn’t want to go back to HPD and the team really did seem to making an effort to make him feel part of things even though he was still trying to be the consummate professional. 

‘OK’ he finally said looking at Steve, ‘I don’t know how we get past this but let’s try. When do you go back to work?’

‘Not for a couple of weeks but I’m bored, maybe you and I could meet for lunch and just talk. Go over some cold cases try and be a team again’

Danny had the hint of a smile ‘go over cold cases? What if we get a lead neither of us is fit for active service?’

Steve grinned ‘We got the team we’ll send them out to the work. We’ll just say we felt it in our liver and they’ll have to do it.’

The look on Danny’s face was priceless ‘Our liver felt it?’ he chuckled and it sounded like heaven to Steve ‘Our Liver? Well we can but try.’ Danny grew serious again ‘Steve, I’m not promising anything, things are not completely fixed.’

‘But we’ve made a start D, and when 5-0 starts something we finish it’

Danny chuckled again ‘Usually we blow things up babe’ he colored and ducked his head as he realized what he had called Steve. Steve chose to ignore it whilst rejoicing inside at the endearment

‘Ah but whatever we do, we do it in style Danno!’ he resisted the urge to hug him and simply said ‘lunch Monday?’

Danny felt a twist of both fear and happiness ‘Ok, see you outside the office. I’ll text.’

Danny started to walk to the car and Steve called out ‘the team really miss you’

‘I’m there every day’ 

‘No, Danny they miss you’ Steve was tempted to say more but knew that things were better than they had been but this was just a start and they had a long way to go. Both men drove home with lots on their minds, that night though as they both went to bed there was something a little easier in their chests and a flurry of hope that things were going to be alright.

***

Steve texted the team the next morning and explained that things had gone well but also expressed his worries about Danny’s weight loss and his uncharacteristic quietness. He also admitted they were going to meet up lunchtimes to talk through cold cases and see if they could work together.

Chin turned up later clutching beer for himself and a selection of sodas for Steve, at the questioning look he simply said ‘Brah, what do you want to drink now beer is out forever?’

They sat quietly watching the sun go down and talking about how Steve felt about talking to Danny and his idea about meeting and working through cold cases.

‘It’s got to work Chin; we can’t lose him on the team and I...’ Steve fell silent as he contemplated a Danny-less future. ‘But he feels so lost and far away and I don’t know how to get him back.’

Chin sat quietly and thought about things, he had been watching both of the men carefully Steve had increasingly become more open and aware the more he had met with the therapist, but it wasn’t just that, he was convinced it was since Steve openly admitted not just to Chin but to himself that his feelings for Danny were far more complex than he had given credence to before.

‘Steve, he is better than after the op. Think about it he went off grid and talked to no one except Rachel and contacted Denning. He didn’t even tell the children where he was. Now he’s back at work, ok it’s still very odd as he’s so not Dannyish but he’s speaking to us, he’s met with you and has agreed to meet more with you.’ 

‘He called me babe’ Steve blushed as he admitted it ‘he looked more shocked than me that he did but it just slipped out I think’

Chin leaned over and patted his leg ‘Brah he wants to be with us but he’s been feeling isolated a lot longer than any of us knew it will take time. We just have to be there, and I know it’s hard but we cannot push him.’

The silence between them was calm and peaceful but Steve missed the silences with Danny. He missed Danny talking about Grace and Charlie, he missed the comments about his faces and he just missed his presence full stop.

As Chin went to leave after a quiet evening he turned at the door and looked Steve hard in the eye ‘you cannot push this and I don’t know if you will ever have what your heart truly wants but this is about healing Danny and the way we work together as well. Steve, please, I really think Danny was far closer to giving up completely than even Rachel is letting on. We cannot let him break and if I think you are not doing right by him I will tell you’

Steve looked at his friend ‘it won’t’

‘I never thought it would before but it did and I miss my friend and Kono is hurting bad. I know you are doing your best but brah it was hard not to hate you for a while.’

‘I’m sorry. I was wrong and I put us all in this position.’ Steve’s body crumpled a little as he apologised to the man in front of him there was so much hurt because of his inability to process emotions and the fall out was going to take time.

Chin pulled Steve into a hug and held tight. Steve felt emotions bouncing all around his body and didn’t know what to do the tears were coming and he was feeling panicky.

‘Brah its ok’ Chin quietly said holding him tight and Steve let go, the sobs coming thick and fast and Chin just held him as they poured out of him. As he calmed down Chin let go of his hug and said ‘all be well, eventually.’

Steve watched Chin drive off and felt better for talking to him. Today had been a good, albeit emotional, day.

***

 

Danny had got up the following morning and pottered around the house doing jobs, he was going to take Grace and Charlie out for the afternoon and as he was getting stuff ready to leave the house, his phone beeped with a text. He looked to see if it was Rachel saying there was a problem and it was Kono

-Hi Danny hope you having a good weekend Adam’s off doing something with work so if you need company just shout.

Danny took a deep breath he really missed her, it was like having a little – somewhat crazy – sister with Kono and Grace adored her. Steve was really trying and they had all been trying to make him part of the team maybe it was time to trust them a little, Steve had said they were missing him.

-taking Grace and Charlie to the zoo could always use a spare pair of hands to keep control of the animals

Before he had even put the phone down it rang

‘Danny’ Kono’s voice hurtled out ‘I love the zoo shall I meet you at yours, Rachel’s or the zoo, shall I bring anything’ 

It brought a tear to Danny’s eye how excited and breathless Kono was in her excitement to see them and go to the zoo. He chuckled and offered to pick her up before getting the children. As he put the phone down he found himself grinning at how excited Grace would be, she had such a hero worship of Kono and whilst the whole surfing, being too much like Steve was a worry he actually couldn’t think of a better person for her to hero worship except maybe a nun.

As he pulled up outside her house there was Kono jigging around outside waiting with a huge smile. She bounced into the car and leaned over and just grabbed him. As she held onto him tight she said quietly in his ear ‘missed you brah’

Danny swallowed hard a few times and held onto her a bit longer as he pulled away he looked at her and said ‘it’s been a bit difficult for a while. I’m sorry.’

Kono nodded her head ‘I’m sorry too I had no idea how hard things were for you.’

‘We all have problems’ Danny reassured her ‘I just got really tangled up for a while, and I think I still am a bit’

‘No, Danny we missed how much you were juggling and when Steve was in hospital you were amazing and we just took it for granted. Yes, he was dying but he’s alive because of all you risked. We were harsh and I’m sorry. I missed you so much.’ She leaned over and gave him another squeeze then as they both wiped their eyes a little she announced ‘now, let’s go we got monkeys to see!’

The afternoon was a huge success Grace was thrilled to see Kono and Charlie followed her around like he had just discovered the secrets of girls his wide eyes never leaving her face as she talked nonstop and helped him around the zoo. Danny found himself laughing more than he had in a long time and Kono noticed Grace relax over the afternoon. As she and Grace popped to the ladies, Grace said to her

‘Danno is having a great time, he hasn’t been this happy for a long time. He saw Uncle Steve yesterday and he said they were going to do some stuff together, I think he’s going to stay’

Kono thought hard about how to answer, Grace wasn’t a young child but she wasn’t an adult ‘He was very hurt by people he trusted and I was one of those people. We are very sorry and we want to make things better and I hope things will get better, they seem to be’

Grace nodded her head ‘They are getting better. Mum said Danny just needed to be reminded that he was cared about and I think you are doing that.’ She put her arms around Kono’s waist and squeezed hard.

The rest of the afternoon went very well with much laughing, ice cream and poking fun at Danny and as they dropped the children off sticky and half asleep Danny realized how much he had enjoyed the afternoon and Kono’s joy of life. As he started towards her house she had a text from Adam saying he was on the way home and should he grab take out. She turned and said casually

‘Adam’s getting take out shall I tell him to get for 3 – it’s a great Chinese place be nice to finish the day off with Adam and food’

Danny hesitated and realized that he had to work too to make things better, he nodded his head ‘that’d be great thanks’ he missed her little smile of happiness and she frantically texted Adam to get enough for 3.

The evening was calm so they sat outside with the food; the thing Danny really liked about Adam was his stillness and his ability not to push conversation. The food was good, the company relaxing and Danny was feeling chilled. As Adam quietly tidied away the food Kono decided to be brave and mention something;

‘Danny, are you ok? You didn’t eat so much and you’ve lost some weight were there problems after the op we don’t know about.’

The care in her voice was unmistakeable, Danny had a think about how to answer ‘no I had no problems, had a small stomach bug at Jake’s but nothing major, I just don’t seem to be hungry anymore.’ 

Kono let the slip about where he had been go; she was more worried about the weight thing ‘Do you think maybe you need to see a doctor, you hardly ate anything tonight. How about we go in the morning it could be maybe a side effect of the op?’

‘Kono I’m just not hungry I haven’t been running around after a mad man for a few months that’s all.’

She got a determined look on her face, ‘how about we go, you can have a general check up to make sure the livers ok and just have a little chat with the doctor – I’ll buy coco puffs for afterwards and good coffee....’

He could see she was determined and to be honest he had lost quite a bit of weight and he was still sleeping a lot , maybe a check up wasn’t such a bad idea. With little grace and a lot of huffing he agreed. He got up and thanked her for a lovely day and as Adam came out he shook his hand and thanked him also, Kono walked him to the car and grabbed him for another bear hug.

‘Kono thanks’ he got out trying not to let emotions rush out of him

‘No problem, see you at the office at 730, I’ll get you into a morning appointment hopefully first thing.’ He grumbled good naturedly at her got in the car and with a wave drove away. Adam came to stand by her as he disappeared out of sight. She leaned into him ‘he’s coming back to us slowly’ they turned to walk into the house ‘I just need to text Chin then I’m going to thank you so hard’ she cackled and walked off texting her cousin.

Two minutes later Adam could hear an excited Kono telling Chin everything and obviously listening to him as well. As she came back into the room her eyes were sparkling, ‘Chin has seen Steve and made sure he will behave and I’m going to make sure Danny is well, not bad for a Sunday now let me thank you’ She launched herself at him and he just went with the flow, it wasn’t a hard life being married to her.

***

The next morning an anxious Danny waited in the office for Kono in truth he was a bit worried about how he seemed to be not quite right, they were happy with his recovery after the op but he was sleeping so much, and his appetite was all but gone really. Kono quietly came into the office knowing he would be uncertain after a gentle hug she tugged him towards the door saying

‘I got you in an 8.00 appointment with a friend of Adam’s and yes before you ask he is a real doctor there is no witchcraft involved and yes you can take us out one day to say thank you.’

She was quiet in the car as she drove him there she seemed to appreciate he was a bit nervous, as he filled in the form in the office she talked to the receptionist and just squeezed his arm before he went in. 

Danny was in with the Doctor a long time, the doctor was a kind soul and not pushy and let Danny stumble with answers to the questions he was asking him, Adam had given him some of the background and he was pretty sure he knew what the underlying problem was. He pushed gently and Danny spoke a lot about the decline in the team and how he chose to leave, but in saying all that he actually said far more than he realised about how he felt about Steve and all sorts of things. After thoroughly checking everything and taking blood, he calmly faced a fidgeting Danny and said

‘I think the simple answer is you are depressed. I think the complicated answer is you are depressed. I think some medication will help balance out some of the mood swings and the overwhelming sense of despair and I’ll prescribe that but Danny...’ he fixed him with a kind but firm eye ‘You need to talk to someone not just your friends but someone who understands but is not part of the situation, you need to understand why you are feeling what you are feeling.’ Danny opened his mouth to speak ‘No, Danny this is not just a reaction to the situation with the team and the op, I think there is more. You need to speak rp someone and I can recommend someone who is very experienced.’

Danny sat there with his head hung low, yet again he was failing. Failed husband, failed team member, failed brother, failed son, failed friend his thoughts started tumbling and tumbling and his breathing got more and more difficult. The doctor leaned forward and put a hand on his knee and counted quietly and Danny felt his breathing and thoughts slowly come under control. Shamefaced he looked up at the kind eyes of the doctor,

‘Danny sometimes we all need help, it doesn’t make you a failure or whatever else you were thinking. It just means you need assistance battling demons you didn’t know were hidden. So let’s give you the prescription and I’ll phone to see if I can get you an appointment with someone to help. I’ll email you later with an appointment time.’

As they walked to the door the doctor didn’t say anything just kept his arm on Danny’s. ‘All will be well my friend’ he said quietly ‘It may take some time, but all will be well do you think Kono would let things be otherwise?’

Danny gave a small chuckle and shook the doctor’s hand. ‘Thank you’ He turned to Kono and took a deep breath ‘I need to stop at a pharmacy and pick up a prescription’ before she could say anything he quickly added ‘Physically all is well, but I’m depressed and need a little help.’

Danny seemed to shrink after saying it, Kono just grabbed his arm and said ‘well we’re here and we’ll help. But, Danny you need to tell us if we hurt you, if we do something wrong or if we are just being too helpful!’

Danny gave a small smile ‘Ok, Kono can you tell the others this has been hard enough and thanks – I think – for dragging me here but I’m not sure I can say it again.’

‘What about boss-man? Shall I tell him as well?’

Danny stood there unsure, their relationship was still so raw feeling, but they were trying and maybe he shouldn’t hide behind Kono. ‘No I’ll tell him, if I don’t by Friday you can.’

Kono just nodded and then linking arms with him walked towards the car and as they drove towards the pharmacy she stopped the car by the bakery to pick up coco puffs. It was a quiet duo that made their way back to the office after doing errands.

***

Luckily the office was quietly working when they got back Chin had obviously told Lou and they were making sure there was no welcoming committee. Steve was coming to meet Danny at 1 for lunch and Danny had a feeling that as soon as he left the building Kono would be filling in his colleagues. He was surprised that he wasn’t stressed about that more, since starting to talk to Steve and spending time with Kono he was starting to feel maybe he was still part of the team.

Steve breezed into the office calling out hellos to the others and knocked on the frame of Danny’s door, Danny took a deep breath and stood up 

‘So where do you want to go?’

Steve grinned, ‘I thought we could go back to mine, I’ve got some stuff in and we could spread the cases across the table’ He suddenly looked a bit nervous ‘if that’s ok Danny, I didn’t mean to take the decision out of your hands’

Danny held his hands out and shook them to get Steve’s attention ‘sounds a good idea if we are going to talk maybe others don’t need to hear us especially if we’re talking gruesome crimes we might put people off their food. 5-0 has enough of a reputation we don’t want restaurants banning us.’

Steve gave a laugh so loud the others turned around. Danny looked shocked that he had made a joke and wasn’t bothered about going back to Steve’s. They slowly made their way out of the office clutching a box of files each and whilst Steve offered Danny a lift, he chose to take his car saying it was ridiculous that Steve would be driving back and forth. Both of them were aware Danny was not ready to be in a car with Steve, the place where their friendship had been forged and then slowly destroyed.

As he pulled into Steve’s Danny sat in the car for a while counting quietly. His phone had pinged with an email from the doctor with an appointment with a guy he felt could help Danny. He could feel the walls of the car crushing in and the panic rising that this was all too much and too soon and he couldn’t tell Steve anything because that would just prove how much of a failure Danny really was and then; his thoughts tumbled and tumbled.

The door to the car opened. Steve knelt down and looked in at Danny; he laid his hand on his arm which was rigidly holding his phone.

‘Do you need to go? Has a case come in? Is something wrong with the children?’

Danny shook his head, he still couldn’t speak.

‘Is this too much D?’ Steve voice was quiet ‘I’ve been so nervous this morning I think I walked 10 miles up and down the beach just trying to work out what to do’

Somehow Steve admitting that unlocked something in Danny ‘Kono and I went to the zoo yesterday with the kids yesterday, then we had Chinese, well she did, apparently I didn’t eat much at all, and she thinks I’ve lost too much weight and I agreed to go to the doctors, cos she’s right I have lost weight and he was really nice but he thinks I have depression so I’ve got fucking pills now and an appointment with some bloke whose going to take everything in my head lay it out and tell me how useless I am and I’m going to end up working security in a mall somewhere cos no one is going to want me.’ The words tumbled out and Danny’s breathing got shorter and shorter.

Steve just grabbed him and pulled him out of the car and hugged him tight, as Danny’s heart rate slowly started to calm down and his breathing started to even out he started to try and move away but Steve held on to him tighter. Steve dropped his head and put his mouth close to Danny’s ear.

‘You are going nowhere. You are part of the team. You are my friend and I’m not letting you go be in a mall anywhere. You are part of the team D and we love you and we want to help you.’

He continued holding Danny and Danny finally slumped into him. Steve tried hard not to get excited about Danny being in his arms, and just hoped that Danny wouldn’t run when he let him go. He slowly let go and Danny stepped back. Rubbing his hands over his face he looked at the floor and said quietly

‘Sorry, bit overwhelmed there.’

Steve led him into the house and they made their way to the kitchen. Steve pulled food out of the fridge and put it on a tray to carry out to the lanai. Danny picked up the jug of juice and they made their way. As they started to eat Steve thought hard about what to say, he decided honesty about himself was probably the best way

‘I’ve got sleeping pills to help with the nightmares. She’s been helping me identify some triggers but also I’ve come to realize sometimes you need help. I keep waking up panicking about this one mission but also about you not coming back and she’s helped me to understand my feelings about people I’ve lost and about those who have lied to me. The pills have really helped I don’t need to use them every day but it was a real battle to take them to start with, like I had somehow failed. But, things are getting better and today is a good day. You’re here, the sun is shining and the team isn’t in danger right now.’

Danny looked at him and saw the honest plea for understanding on Steve’s face. ‘I think things have being gone downhill for me from when Matty died. I don’t think I really handled everything well and I really thought I was going to die in that prison and that was ok. Since then I’ve been quietly shutting things off and then the Charlie shit hit the fan and it just seemed to fit, I’d failed Matty and Rachel didn’t want me as a father, you and I started to get screwy and all of it just seemed to add to the Danny is a failure.’

Steve grabbed Danny’s hand ‘You’re not a failure, god D I hate myself for how I’ve made you feel. You have never been a failure, when I got back from being away with the reserves I couldn’t wait to see you and Grace, somehow seeing the two of you made me realise everything nasty, foul and violent I’ve done was ok because it kept her and you safe and surrounded in love. The first time Grace called me Uncle Steve it was like I was surrounded by such light and sunshine I couldn’t believe you’d share that with me, when you let me call you Danno I felt like I was part of a family and that was just’ 

Steve flailed around for the words and Danny quietly said

‘you are part of a family. Mine.’  
Steve looked up at him shocked Danny continued ‘Families get fucked up and it seems we’ve fucked up ours well and truly but amazingly we seem to be starting to fix things. It’s going to take time but I really do believe for the first time we’re going to be ok.’

Both men laughed, sat back and took a drink and looked at the water. 

***

The next few weeks things slowly improved. Danny didn’t feel quite so isolated and though it was difficult for him he started to speak to the man the doctor had recommended. It was hard speaking about Matty, Charlie and his very complicated and mixed up feelings about Steve but slowly Danny found himself more on an even keel. He took the tablets, and found himself eating more and not getting caught up in negative thoughts quite so much. The revelation through it all was Steve, he was a quiet support and they found themselves talking more and more. Steve made sure he didn’t push Danny but made sure he also knew that he was part of the team, well respected and more than once told him he was loved by the team.

***

It was about 6 weeks later when Steve had been back in work a little while and they were about to go out to visit a suspect that Danny just threw the car keys at Steve and said ‘Come on then lets get them babe.’ 

Steve’s grin was so large and so were the rest of the teams that Danny held his arms and out and said ‘What? I don’t know I’m surrounded by mad people!’ he threw his arms up and stalked off with Steve running backwards grinning at the team before catching with Danny and going out on the job.

Chin slapped Lou on the back and simply said ‘things are going to be fine’ Kono grinned insanely and walked out of the door.

***

Three months after that it was almost like it had been in the good old days. Danny and Steve were on form, slowly their old married style was back but it was kinder, less harsher and with greater understanding of each other. They were careful of each other’s feelings and as a result the team was working better and better. Grace was ecstatic to have Uncle Steve around and Charlie was just fascinated by the very tall man.

***

It was about a month after that Steve finally admitted he had been retired from the Navy and he had chosen not to have a ceremony. Danny was saddened by how quietly Steve had left the Navy considering the service he had done his country and angered how they had let him go so quickly.

Danny decided he needed to do something about this but didn’t know what to do. He spoke to the rest of the team and asked their opinion. They talked a lot about what they could do, should they contact the navy? Kono mentioned contacting Catherine, both Chin and Danny were both emphatic in their negative response. Chin, because he knew Steve had no interest in her and didn’t need the complication, Danny, well he was jealous of anyone who had been loved by Steve and he hated that she had hurt him. Danny was now well aware that he loved Steve but had no idea the feelings were reciprocated and no plan to do anything.

Slowly, the team came up with a plan. They would have a party to celebrate Steve and in their own way salute his career. It wasn’t the official goodbye he should have had from the Navy but it would be them honoring him.

Kamekona sorted out the food, Kono the decorations and the rest of the team pitched in. Chin insisted it was in the office so he could do something using the computers and Danny’s job was to get him out of the office, and then bring him back when it was time. They decided it would just be the team and the extended members of Max, Jerry, Kamekona and after great debate Denning. 

The day dawned of the great event, the plans were in place and so Danny managed to get Steve out to interview someone on the other side of the island, he good naturedly chuntered as Steve took the keys, called him Danno and walked out of the office. Danny grabbed a coco puff winked at the team and followed him out.

As they returned, with Danny moaning about the driving, the weather, pineapple and anything else he could think of Steve felt at complete peace. All was well with the world. As they walked into the office Steve stopped, there was red white and blue bunting everywhere, food on a table a selection of red white and blue drinks and on the screens photos of him at different ages in his uniform. As he came to a stop and looked around he could feel his chest grow tight with emotions. Danny stepped around him and looked at him.   
‘Well, We wanted to say thank you for all you did in the Seals. We know you chose to leave quietly but we thought you needed your ohana to recognize all you have done that we will never know about because...’

‘it’s classified’ they all chimed in.

Steve couldn’t take his eyes off Danny ‘Thank you.’ They all realized he was overcome and so quietly the team each reached out to him with a touch or a smile and then left him to process everything. Danny looked up at him and said 

‘So Army boy fancy some revolting colored juice?’

‘Danno, it’s Navy you know that’ Steve whined. ‘Just once get it right’

Danny laughed ‘ok you goof, Navy boy do you want some juice?’

The rest of the team surrounded them and they talked about all sorts of things, throughout the get together Danny and Steve were never far away from each other and the team watched them with warm, loving eyes. The pair of them didn’t recognize the others feelings but it wasn’t for them to interfere it had taken a long time for the team to be back together and the ohana was good.

As the party came to an end, Steve asked Danny if he fancied coming back to the house. Danny agreed readily and they made their way back. They sat facing the sea and Steve found himself talking about his feelings leaving the Navy, Danny sat and listened. They fell into a calm and peaceful silence.

‘Fancy a walk’ Steve asked and Danny nodded. They were quietly walking along the beach as the sun started to slip down the sky, somehow and they would never really know who reached out first, they joined hands. As the sky darkened Steve and Danny turned and quietly kissed. Leaning his forehead on Danny’s Steve whispered  
‘I love you so much’

‘I love you so much too’ came the response.

They made their way back to the house. They spent the night curled up on Steve’s bed exchanging quiet kisses and gentle words. They fell asleep safe in each others arms. The next morning they would talk about how they felt and slowly over the coming months their relationship would deepen.

It came as no surprise to the team a month later when they shyly announced they were a couple and going to live together. Kono and Chin were suspiciously flush though with money and treated the team to a night out. Lou just laughed at the bashful way the two of them admitted they were in love and Denning, well Denning thought they already were a couple and Danny leaving had been a big break up. Grace and Charlie, well for them their family just got a little bit bigger and they accepted Steve with love and sunshine.

As Danny and Steve made their way home after telling the team they sat watching the sun slip down curled up together on their new extra wide seat, Steve curled his arm around Danny and quietly whispered in his ear. ‘All is well, my love, all is well.’ Danny just smiled and relaxed into Steve.


End file.
